Saturday, April 26, 2014

Confessions of a Real Mom

None of us are perfect and we all have "days". Sometimes the best thing to do is pat each other on the back and say "I've been there". Here my  little list of confessions.

  1. I yell. I try not to... but it happens.
  2. I have a "stash" of chocolate in one of our cubbards that my children don't know is there. I have also consumed said chocolate double fisted whilst hiding in the bathroom.

  3. I have told my children that their toys are broken when the reality is that I really really don't want to replace the batteries...
  4. I have woken up thinking "How long until nap time???"
    \
  5. I have accidentally disciplined my children for things they haven't done. 

6. I still  will get up in the middle of the night from time to time to make sure my kids are OK.
7. I have said and done things I told myself I'd never do as a parent. 
8. I have made empty threats and then immediately regretted it.
9. I have used the phrase "Because I Said SO" on multiple occasions.
I mean... let's be honest... there are times when they don't really care what the answer is.
10. Sometimes my kids know how to get on my last nerve.
11. I get separation anxiety every time my son climbs on the bus.
 
12. I'm pretty sure my kids have learned to use affection to manipulate me.
13. I drink a lot of coffee 
14. Bribery is a tool in my parenting arsenal 
15. I try to push my children into hobbies that I enjoy doing with them.
16. I have literally cried at the sight of some of their sentimental creations (ie mothers day)
17. I don't keep the dandelions they pick for me, but I'm always moved by the gesture.
18. My kids learned phrases like "what the heck" and "holy crap" from me... I can't even blame it on public school.
19.... although my kids think the "S-H" word is "Shut up!"
20. I once started crying when I caught my son lying to me. I didn't mean it as a guilt trip... I was just sad, but let me tell ya... that has more of an impact that any other discipline I could come up with. 
21. When I see myself in my kids, my reaction varies from being tickled to mortified. 
22. I've jokingly threatened my children with duct taping them  to the wall.


23. I feed my kids boxed mac and cheese.
24. and hot dogs

25. I love encouraging my kids to be independent, but sometimes, standing back and watching them struggle is very very difficult
''
26. I get the biggest euphoric high when people compliment my children's behavior and/or personality.
27. I prep my kids before going to someone else's house. ie "You will do.... You won't do...."
28. I spend most of my time at home in my husbands t shirts
29. I sometimes just stare at my kids and marvel at the people they're turning into.
30. I sing "Do you wanna build a snowman" loudly and off-key with my children on a semi-regular basis.
31. I, in fact, sometimes sing just about everything to my children when I start to get frustrated with them not listening.
32. Sometimes I forget to brush my kids teeth.
33. My daughter is sooo clumsy that I have pretty much given up most levels of sympathy when shy falls down.
34. She is also so cute that I have been somewhat desensitized to compliments on her adorable-ness :)
35. I tend to believe my son is a genius. 
36. I used to be impatient about watching other peoples' kids, but since having my own rugrats... the more the merrier.
37. I tend to procrastinate going on dates with my hubby (even though I love it), because it seems like too much work.
38. I never want anyone watching my kids by force or guilt. I always want the "babysitter" to actually want to spend time with my kids.
39. This is why, if I'm babysitting someone else's kids,  I tend to make sure they know that I'm truly happy to do it. If I'm not; I won't agree to it.
40. Our shower is at the back of our house and I'm terrified to take a shower when it's just me and the kids, because I can't hear the house. I always imagine the very worst.
41. I'm not a morning person!!
Enough said.
42. I screen my calls. Not because I don't want to talk to people, but because I can be a bit "phone shy".
43. I'm always in yoga pants, leggings, or skirts.... so I am lost when it comes to "pants size"
"... How come these jeans don't come in medium..."

44. I always day dream about having my kids pile in bed with us and snuggling up... the reality is never as good as the fiction...
I usually get fought over, sweating, and unable to move.
45. My minivan usually looks like a trashcan on wheels. I keep telling myself "this time I'll keep it clean!" Has yet to happen!
46. I always owe the library money... They never loose that one book that you've read so often you no longer have to look at the words, but they will instantaneously loose the one book you must return on time. 
47.  My kids' runny noses are so much more tolerable than other kids' runny noses.
48. I can't turn off my nurturing instinct, and I'm lucky enough to have people in my life that don't mind too much. 

49. I love taking naps with my kids. I don't get to do it very often but I feel spoiled when I do.
50. My kids are turning out pretty darn good despite all of my failures! :) They are resilient little buggers. I adore them.