I am learning not to take it so personally and/or seriously, but it's an exhausting endeavor for me. One reason, being, that I feel that most people give criticism not out of "construction", as they claim, but instead, self inflation.
I mean really... how often does "constructive criticism" not happen to benefit the giver more than the receiver???
Examples???
OK....
If someone criticizes your cooking... are they doing it to make you a better cook, or to eat better food?
If someone criticizes your housekeeping ... are they doing it to help/teach you how to do it more efficiently, or are they essentially complaining about your dirty home and making themselves feel superior?
If someone criticizes your grammar, are they trying to be helpful, or are they just simply annoyed by your imperfect speech?
If someone criticizes your thoughts or beliefs, are they trying to understand and help you, or just be right?
I could go on.
I know that some of you will read this and say "well I meant it the constructive way", but I will tell you that whether or not that's true is irrelevant, because you are the minority. No one wants to feel judged for who/what they are.
Everyone has their idiosyncrasies, embrace them, and let Jesus "sand off their rough edges", if necessary.
That being said... I'm, at times, a hypocrite... we all are. I very much try not to judge people and really really try not to make people feel judged, even if I have momentary weak thoughts. I fail, at times, though... sometimes it's no more than me being awkward, and I spend the drive home kicking myself for saying something that could be taken as judgement. Sometimes it's because there always those people that inexplicably put you on the defensive, without even trying.
We should all think to ourselves, before being critical, What could they judge ME for???
AND for the love of pete... I'm going to have to let myself grow some thick skin. I like being soft hearted and empathetic, but I will have to learn to balance that with not being sensitive, because human nature is innately "insensitive".
I hate criticism. Its actually a large component of why I skipped every speech I was supposed to give in high school. The thought of the "constructive" criticism at the end of some speeches made me want to preemptively jump out of a moving vehicle.
ReplyDeleteI can completely relate! Criticism gives me a tummy-ache. It makes me want to quit... but starting my business I'm having to learn that quitting is not an option. I will always regret it if I QUIT.
ReplyDeleteI just need to remember to pray for God to guard my tongue so that I don't make any one else have a tummy-ache. I'd feel terrible!!!
Some things are a matter of preference... (Some like their bacon crisp, some don't!) I happen to like mine crisp. If someone else doesn't, well then next time, they can cook!! A criticism, "helpful" or not is only a different opinion (Probably wrong!! :). Nobody is perfect. Give it your best shot, then ignore the critics... (Unless everyone tells you the biscuits are hard, then you might want to recheck the recipe!!) Life is a learning experience - each attempt will see improvement. The Mona Lisa wasn't painted in a day! ;)
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