The 5 primary love languages are: Touch (physical affection), Acts of Service (doing things to show your love), Words of affirmation (telling others how you feel), Quality Time (spending time together to express love), Gifts (buying presents or spending money to express affection)
Gideon is a simple child. His 'love tank" is easily filled by very specific things and he knows how to ask for exactly what he wants. His love languages are:
1. Quality Time (primary)
Not all time spent together is created equal. For it to fill his tank it has to be me taking time out of my day to participate in his interests or hobbies. ie: playing games with him , playing with his toys, or drawing with him.
2. Words of Affirmation (both expressing and receiving love)
When I tell Gideon how much I love him or how great he is, I can see his chest puff out, his eyes light up, and an overall spring to his step. He also takes time out each day to tell me how wonderful/beautiful I am. Especially in the moments he feels particularly loved by me.
On the same note. I have to be careful, because he can easily be broken down by my words. It doesn't take much for him to feel unappreciated or unloved by basic criticisms.
3. Touch (expression of love only)
I am a strongly touch oriented love language so he has learned to express love to other by touch. It's been so strongly ingrained in him that sometimes he gets confused when he has tried to hug his friends at school and it isn't received with love or gratitude.
Gabby is a very strong personality and if she isn't receiving what she needs from those around her everyone will know about it. It takes a little more to fill her "tank". Her love languages are:
1: Touch (very strong primary)
This girl can not get enough hugs and snuggles. This is in fact wonderful. She gives the worlds best hugs and I can't get enough of her cuddling, until she doesn't feel like she's getting the love/attention she needs and she demands it by climbing on you like a jungle gym. OR she won't sleep until I snuggle with her for a long time in her bed because she is feeling insecure at that moment. She is very predictable, and easy to please.... but it an by immobilizing at times.
2. Quality time (receiving love)
It is convenient that I can spend time with both of them and they both get something out of it. If I sit down and draw, do a craft, bake cookies, or play with both of them than (other than competing with one another) they both feel loved and fulfilled.
The problem only arises that with such a strong touch love language and a secondary in quality time, Gabby can be quite demanding. If I am focusing my attention/quality time elsewhere... she take it personally and will do everything in her power to be included. Whether it be climbing on me, joining into the conversation, or getting herself in trouble to make me look at her.
3. Acts of Service (minor one)
If the first two fail because I'm very preoccupied (cleaning the house, talking on the phone, etc) than she will begin asking for me to do things for her... like making her a snack when I know she isn't hungry or doing something for her that she does on her own on a daily basis.
My love languages and John's love languages are exactly the same... which has really helped our marriage over the years.
1) Touch
2) Acts of Service
3) Quality Time
^In that order
No comments:
Post a Comment