Slow and painful

We are but a chrysalis of what God has in store for us. Being made new in Christ is not often a flash of light followed by a flood of wisdom and epiphanies. It's slow and sometimes very painful growth. God can change a heart in a moment, but a mind is stubborn. Our thoughts must be refined in fire; burn away the sinful nature to purify our focus. Where are thoughts go; we will follow.

1 Peter 1:6-9
"In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials.
These have come so that your faith -- of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire-- may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith the salvation of your souls." 

Sometimes grief can hit us so hard that we don't want to move forward in faith. Somewhere inside of us there lies a fear that if we keep growing- something else, equally or more painful, might happen. As if we are navigating a minefield of sorrow and with each step we risk our own or someone else's destruction.
Our mind tells us that if remain dormant we can freeze frame the moment.  I know I can handle where I am. I may fail if I move forward.  

The reality is that in remaining dormant in an attempt to control your environment and hide from the unknown; you are roadblocking your faith which is roadblocking your relationship with God.

With growth there are inevitable growing pains.  

My daughter is 4 and is reaching a growth spurt, shooting her up in her clothing sizes and making her ridiculously clumsy.  We're talking running into walls, knocking over drinks, tripping over her own feet... clumsy.  She falls down, cries, and picks herself up. She spills, gets frustrated, and cleans up her mess.  I encourage her and advise her.

Imagine if  she just gave up. She fell down... and just stayed there. I'm tired of falling down so I am just going to sit here for the remainder of my life! 
or if she left her messes... spilled and then allowed it to sit there rotting away her surroundings and endangering others who might slip on that spilled water or milk sprayed all over the floor.

In the conditions where you can see the immediate results; the solution is obvious but when it's less obvious consequences we think we can ignore the problems. Bury them, or worse  let them build walls between us and others or us and God.
Nothing is more debilitating in your relationship with God than building barriers between him and your heart.

Don't fear the growing pains. Don't condemn yourself for them. Learn, grow, and accept God's grace.

Love and trust in the One you cannot see.  Don't be afraid of trials; being made new in Christ may take patience, but  it is a celebration.