Thursday, October 24, 2013

My own undoing

The other day I was in the shower and both my kids came knocking at the door for assistance with various things no less than 3 times each. This occurred all while John was available in the living room. 

I finished my shower in a huff, got dressed, and marched into the living room geared with a snarky comment. "You definitely have your kids trained!" I grumbled as I filled cups of water, helped find missing toys, and retrieved snacks. 
After completing my laundry list of pending demands, I plopped down on the couch and suddenly, like lightening, something occurred to me.
He had not trained them to be this way. I had. 

For the last 5 years I have placed myself in a solitary rapid response team role for my children. Any request or demand, and I'm on it. It's my job. The complication arises when I forget that Daddy is just as capable of a parent. If I am incapacitated (ie shower, bathroom, making dinner, etc) there is no reason I should be inclined to feel guilty for uttering the phrase "Go ask your daddy". Instead of the classic "Just give me a minute..."  

I've trained my kids to always... and I mean always come to me and I've trained my husband to tune out their requests because I am so prone to handling it myself.

I am a mother not a martyr.

I should always do my best by family and work hard to take care of them, but there is no shame in asking for the assistance and support from my partner in crime. 


Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Champ

I chose to enroll my son in soccer this year through kids inc. I knew the value of sports and I thought my son could use a constructive outlet for his energy. I had no idea the value in its entirety. It was definitely one of the best decisions I've made for him. 

When he started the season he had never even seen soccer. I would have asked him his opinion on starting the season if I thought he'd have any idea what I was talking about. Not being sports people, Gideon's exposure is fairly limited. 

All it took to spark his initial interest was to see a ball and a bunch of other kids running around. Instantly soccer became an awesome idea. This was quickly squashed when he started doing drills to improve his ball control and found himself not automatically the best at the sport. He had to work at it and it made him second guess whether this was an enjoyable experience. 

After the first week of practices he would sit in the back seat of our van, his brow thoughtfully furrowed and would repeat "I'm not sure if I like soccer". I just smiled and said "Give it time. You can decide what you think at the end of the season."  
"Sigh... Well OK Mom" 

Everything changed when he had his first game. During his first soccer game he managed to score his first goal and I, from where I was cheering on the sidelines, could see a profound and joyous explosion of conquest fill his little face. At that moment, it was all over. He was hooked. 

In the following weeks I got the privilege of seeing lessons that would have taken me the better part of his life to teach him, effectively and unceremoniously crammed in with considerably less effort. 

When he first began practices all of the kids would playfully taunt each other and brag over their own successes. After a couple weeks they all noticed something. It felt pretty good to say "nah nah nah I'm better than you!!!" It didn't, however, feel so good to have it said to you. Soon the "nah nah nahs" turned to "good jobs" and "Try agains".  He gained a sense of sportsmanship and consideration.

Gideon's always been the kid that, upon getting a stubbed toe, could be heard for miles. I was a little worried about how he would take the bang ups and scrape ups that come with playing a sport, but I kid you not... I watched my little man (on more than one occasion) take a soccer ball to the face so hard that the coaches called a time-out and offer him a break and I watched him swallow down a few tears and say "No, I want to keep playing".  I also watched him hurt himself during a game and keep running down the field, going after the ball, whilst tears streamed down his cheeks. A sport gave a sense of purpose, confidence, and tenacity. 

There's nothing like working as a team and having to not only let someone else get the glory, but actually help set someone else up to score the goal. It teaches them to think in the terms of "the whole team" instead of just themselves. Seeing those kids get just as excited seeing any of their teammates score a goal as they get when they themselves score one was such a neat thing. 

As soccer comes to a close, his last game of the season being this Saturday, he can't wait for his next sport. I am enrolling him basketball for the winter and I might need to get a count down chart of sorts to avoid the "how long until basketball mom?!?!?"

If you can only do one after school activity with your kids, I first recommend something like Awanas because nothing is more important that your relationship with God. BUT sports come a close second for both BOYS AND GIRLS. You won't regret it. The experience is invaluable. 

 

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Day 2

James 1:19-20
"My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires." 

Who has time to listen anymore? I mean... really... you have things to do, places to go, and a world of expectations to meet. If you are slow to speak, you might not get the opportunity to get your opinion out there. I mean who cares if they disagree with you?! You don't have to care what they think! 

The more we compete to express our opinions, the more conflict will arise, and the more we'll get what?.... ANGRY. The more we get angry the more we forget about others thoughts and feelings and say things we don't mean.

All of this can be avoided by not rushing into opinions by instead taking time to truly listen to one another.

For me, I tend to be a chatter box. I really enjoy listening to others, but I also really love talking and being full of opinions, so I verbal-diarrhea all over the place.

My personal mission for myself will be to shut my trap a lot more. :) 

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Day 1 of my mission

I am going to start a new "mission". I am doing personal Bible Study and each day I will pick a scripture, share it with you and share my thoughts on it. Feel free to comment with thoughts of your own (just remember the golden rule).

Today's Scripture: Hebrews 10:23-25
"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another-- and all the more as you see the Day approaching." 

How many of us take the time to truly "spur one another on toward love and good deeds"? For the record, this involves no use of an index finger or furrowed brow. The ingredients are already listed. The only way to spur someone on toward love and good deeds is to do them yourself

As well illustrated my pastor on Sunday... each and every one of us are walking viruses. Everyone we touch is infected. Is our virus spurring others towards love and good deeds or is it something a little less positive? Are the lives of others better for having you in them? 

It should go without saying, but it is impossible to be lifting up your brothers and sisters by hiding in your house and avoiding them all-together. We must meet together. We must fellowship. We must share. We must BE TOGETHER. It's quite difficult to demonstrate love and good deeds hiding behind "a screen". Like it or not we need each other. Without people "spurring us on" we will become exhausted and complacent. 

The world can be a pretty dark place, and it will likely only get darker. We need one another to remind us how faithful God is and how much we can put our hope in Him. With every tragedy there are heartfelt prayers and loving sacrifices, with every stressor, there are shoulders waiting to bare the burden. Let us not be afraid to rely on one another and let us be the kind of people who can be relied upon.