Christmas Present Conundrum

My name is Melissa, and I am addicted to Christmas. 

I think about Christmas all year. I plan for it. I pick up presents all year and yet.... 

I can never get enough! 

Most "all-year" Christmas shoppers, like myself, do it so that they don't have to worry about it come Christmas. They have it all "taken care of". They can kick back and enjoy Christmas. 

There is one problem with this, for me.. .I LOVE  BUYING GIFTS!!! 

AND it never feels like enough! I make lists, make more lists... count the presents to make sure they are at least somewhat equal, and it always feels "short", so I go out and buy more. 

I.Just.Can't.Stop!!!!!!

They say that everyone has a "love language" and I am no exception, but I'm also multi-lingual. I am terrified that people don't know I love them, so I go out of my way, in every way, to show them. I tell people, I buy them gifts (when possible), I am affectionate (when I feel it's appropriate/comfortable), I make them things, I cook for people, and invite them into my home. 

Advantage: Hopefully I can teach my children to be "multi-lingual" lovers of people.

Disadvantage: Christmas is rough on our pocketbook. 

Look at it from my perspective... 

If you feel like you could just hand someone you care about a box o' love; 

Wouldn't you want to buy two? 

Don't mistake this for being shallow. I couldn't care less if this is reciprocated. I often just feel blessed/grateful that I have people who want me around on the holidays. 

Christmas is my favorite time of year, because I have an excuse to give give give relentlessly without it being weird. 

I'm a crazy gal. 

Critical

It's no surprise or mystery that I struggle with receiving criticism. 

  

I am learning not to take it so personally and/or seriously, but it's an exhausting endeavor for me. One reason, being, that I feel that most people  give criticism not out of "construction", as they claim, but instead, self inflation. 

I mean really... how often does "constructive criticism" not happen  to benefit the giver more than the receiver??? 

Examples??? 

OK....

If someone criticizes your cooking... are they doing it to make you a better cook, or to eat better food? 

If someone criticizes your housekeeping ... are they doing it to help/teach you how to do it more efficiently, or are they essentially complaining about your dirty home and making themselves feel superior?

If someone criticizes your grammar, are they trying to be helpful, or are they just simply annoyed by your imperfect speech? 

If someone criticizes your thoughts or beliefs, are they trying to understand and help you, or just be right?

I could go on. 

I know that some of you will read this and say "well I meant it the constructive way", but I will tell you that whether or not that's true is irrelevant, because you are the minority. No one wants to feel judged for who/what they are. 

Everyone has their idiosyncrasies, embrace them, and let Jesus "sand off their rough edges", if necessary. 

  

That being said... I'm, at times, a hypocrite... we all are. I very much try  not to judge people and really really try not to make people feel judged, even if I have momentary weak thoughts. I fail, at times, though... sometimes it's no more than me being awkward, and I spend the drive home kicking myself for saying something that could be taken as judgement.  Sometimes it's because there always those people that inexplicably put you on the defensive, without even trying. 

We should all think to ourselves, before being critical, What could they judge ME for???

AND for the love of pete... I'm going to have to let myself grow some thick skin. I like being soft hearted and empathetic, but I will have to learn to balance that with not being sensitive, because human nature  is innately "insensitive". 

Thankful

In honor of tomorrow being a day designated for appreciation and thanks, I am going to do the natural thing and make a list of things I'm thankful for. I will try to narrow it down. ;) 

1. A family and friends to share the holiday with.
2. Stretchy pants, that I will be desperately needing after 3 large thanksgiving meals (different days). 
3. Children that are so sweet and adorable that they earn comments of admiration whilst shopping in a store sporting "pre-holiday" insanity. 
4. The extra chocolate that seems to be hanging out everywhere this time of year. 
5. A husband that manages to have patience with me, despite the small child in my subconscious talking me into putting up my Christmas decorations a week early. 
6. Nap time
7. Play time
8. An excuse to make a giant meal for people I care about. 
9. An excuse to make a list of stuff that I love. 
10. A home to decorate and invite people to. 
11. Hugs 
12. An excuse to buy presents for people. 
13. The ability to buy presents for people. 
14. A strong willed son whom recently enforces a strict rule of always praying for our safety before leaving the house, and thanking God for food every time he eats! :) 
15. Little girl kisses
16. Quiet
17. A daughter who's favorite phrase is "I will help you, mommy" 
18. Empathy
19. Christmas lights/trees and the way they make me feel like a kid again, especially when watching little eyes admire them. 
20. Being loved. 
21. My husbands job, that he loves. 
22. The forgiveness of Jesus Christ
23. Salvation
24. Parents that introduced me to both 22 and 23
25. Who God chose to make me. 
26. Health! It may be cliche, but I know that I'm so blessed to have a family who is healthy and well.
27. Ability to pay our bills and pay for our own food. 
28. Ability to give. 
29. The smell of tasty things in the oven. 
30. Taking care of my family. 

and much much more. 

Thank you, Lord! 

Superhero

If you're a mom, you are a superhero! 

Not because of child birth (which definitely can feel heroic)

Not because of stomach constitution (which will inevitably be tested)

Not because of "battle scars" (I have a few myself)

It's because, in the eyes of your children you are the ultimate. There is no one on earth that can be MOM. 

Her kisses are magical and heal all wounds

Her hugs are the embodiment of comfort and peace of mind

She obtains the wisdom to solve any problem 

She, alone, has the ability to find any missing object 

No one can match her ability articulate their favorite story with the same emphatic inflection time after time after time

She knows just the right way to express empathy when it is in it's greatest hour of need. 

Her voice is pure and beautiful (never mind if it's on key)

She understands her children in a way that can not be matched by any other

I love it when my daughter will be eating something... like say a cracker... and it will break in her hands, so in the world of her... the obviously conclusion is to bring it to me and say in heartbroken, pitiful tone "fix it, mommy!" 

and no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to explain that I'm not actually magical and can't repair a broken cracker. The best I can do is pretend and hand her a new one while discretely shoving the broken one into my mouth and trying not to chew too obviously. 

I  in no way want my children to believe that I'm without flaws and limitations, but it's so beautiful that, at this age, I'm still able to dazzle them by simply taking care of their needs/wants. 

Take the time, today, to feel powerful. To feel like a superhero raising the next generation! 

...and... remember that the next time those little eyes look up at you like you hung the moon... God actually did do that for us, and wants us to look at him the same. :)  

The kind of friend I want to be

I want to be the kind of friend that walks in to the door of your heart, whilst sharing your favorite joke.

 Hangs pictures on the walls that remind you of your favorite memories. 

Lights a fire to ensure warmth and comfort during the coldest of days. 

Takes no notice to anything "out of place" or needing straightening. 

Bakes cookies to fill and comfort. Leaving a lingering smell of sweetness and warmth. 

Fluff a comfortable arm chair, and hopefully... if permitted... stay awhile. 

Proverbs 17:17

"A friend loves at all times,

    and a brother is born for a time of adversity."

Almost bad day

Today is payday, which for us means grocery shopping day. I took a deep breath, grabbed my coupons, and grocery list, loaded up the kiddos and headed for the store.  

My son didn't sleep well last night, so he was choosing to spend the day in a state of temperamental hysteria. Every little metaphoric bump in the metaphoric road resulting in literal tears. 

After about an hour or so of shopping, I pulled my overfull cart up the counter. After all my groceries were unloaded and checked out, I ran my card and saw the words that every middle to lower middle class person hates to see

DECLINED. 

This baffled me. My husband has direct deposit and today is payday!!! 

This was event one of pending disastrous day. 

I tried the card again, in confusion, and when I got the same result, I had no choice but to ask the cashier to suspend my order and wait while I ran across the street to the bank to see what was up . She politely agreed, until her assistant manager came over

dum dum dum  

... and said NO! He said that he couldn't help but assume that I wouldn't return, so he demanded it all be put back. 

Did I mention it took me an hour or so to fill this cart???? 

This was event two. 

I then, in a huff, went out to my car, and then realized I DIDN'T HAVE MY DEBIT CARD!!!!

I searched high and low, went back in the store (kids fighting the whole time) and I couldn't find it anywhere. 

This was event three. 

I finally loaded everyone up and headed for the bank. I got there and upon realizing that there was no problem with the balance of my bank (thank goodness) I inquired about my card not working. The bank then informed me that my card had a hold on it because of suspicious activity on it. They tried calling me, but they had the wrong number, so they put a "hold" on it. I had them block the card, because I still didn't know where it was, got a new card, some cash, and headed out. 

I was actually thankful that I misplaced my debit card, because otherwise I wouldn't have known what was up with my card. 

I rushed back to the store, ran in, and as luck would have it the courtesy clerk that was responsible for putting back my cart of groceries, had to go on lunch, so they had put it in the cooler until after their lunch. I was able to give the cashier some cash and took home my groceries. 

I got home, unloaded my groceries, and then realized that I had put my bank card in the slot behind my DL. 

sigh

In the end, I praise God, because if I hadn't thought I lost my card, I would have not known that there was a hold on my card, and I wouldn't have blocked it, preventing any other suspicious activity on the card. 

I praise God, because if the Courtesy Clerk didn't have to take her lunch, right then, then I would have had to do my grocery shopping all over again. 

Now I have a new debit card, a kitchen full of groceries, and everything is as it should be. 

Gideon is even in a better mood now that we are all at home. 

Praise God taking the "mis" out of my misfortune.