I am a walking disaster!

I am a walking disaster... No joke.

My latest ridiculous disaster involves chickens... and a rock. 

We have 3 chickens, and typically on the weekends I will let them out into the yard to stretch their legs and eat our bugs. Well, since it was such a beautiful day, today, I decided to let them out for a bit... I mean, really what's the worst that could happen? 

Well, my son got a crazy wild hair and in a banshee fit chased them over the fence, and into the neighbors yard. 

This is a problem for a couple reasons. 

1. Chickens can be a pain to catch in our own yard, let alone trying to chase them in the neighbors yard

2. Technically speaking (according to city regulations) I am not supposed to let them out of their coop 

I really didn't want to go knock on the neighbors door and tell them that I needed into their backyard so I could retrieve my chickens. There was  the chance that they would return to their open coop, in time, but they could also follow their stomachs into oblivion, so I didn't want to just wait it out. 

So step one was trying to make our yard look more delicious (difficult task, considering that our neighbors don't mow... ever) so I got some corn kernels and sprinkled all over the yard.... nothing. 

Step two was to startle them back into our yard, so I picked up one of the kids balls and tossed it on the other side of the chickens. They squirmed a bit and froze in place, but them resumed munching the neighbors grass/bugs. 

I was starting to get desperate. I really needed those feathered menaces back in my yard, so I picked up a rock, and aimed near them, but clear of any chickens to scare them back over. 

Did I mention that I have terrible  aim?! 

Yeah... all I could see in the tall grass was 

Flap Flap.... Plop! 

My first thought?  "Ah, CRAP! I just killed our chicken!!!!" So I climbed over the fence (hoped the neighbors weren't watching me through their windows) picked up the unmoving body of my chicken and lightly tossed it over the fence. 

THUD!

OK... Not good. 

While over there, I scared the other two back into our yard, then climbed back over, picked up the still unmoving feathered body of the chicken. 

Good news: It was breathing

Bad news: It was severely immobile 

I stared, thinking 

well... I know that if you cut a chicken's head off, it will keep moving for awhile... am I looking at a dead chicken? 

Unsure of the chicken's fate, I set it in one of the nests, and then "herded" the others back into their coop. 

I proceeded to check on the chicken... poke the chicken.... push the chicken. It fluttered around a bit, walked into one of the  other near by nests, and passed out.

This was not encouraging. 

I then herded my children back in the house and after 20 minutes or so, I went back out to the chicken coop to find a once "lifeless" chicken now clucking around, like normal. 

Let me tell ya, I breathed a sigh of relief. I am not apposed to the idea of turning our feathered friends into dinner, when the time comes, but in the mean time, knocking my chicken silly with a rock is not my idea of a good time. 

Told you.... Walking Disaster!!!