Holding our children's skills and abilities against those of other children. Wondering constantly if our kiddo is "falling behind" or "exceeding", based almost exclusively on competition.
One thing I've learned about having 2 kids is how unique each child is. I know... I know... You're "skimming" this thinking "DUH", but really...
I am biased, but my children are both bright, social, dynamic, individuals, and yet they have their strengths.
My son 4 1/2 (always has been)
- strong "type A" personality
- thrives on structure and organization
- Struggles with speech and verbalization
- Learns through visualization
- Highly Competitive
- Requires constant verbal affirmation
- Exceeds in mechanical abilities and "figuring things out" on his own
- Struggles with any form of "pressure"
- Has difficulty making decisions
- cautious
- a "thinker"
- Needs his space, sometimes.
My daughter 19 mo (so far)
- Type "B"
- naturally creative (loves music and art)
- Thrives in communication skills
- Has a very auditory based memory
- Very independent
- Requires constant physical affection
- Struggles with anything mechanical (ie puzzles)
- Always knows what she wants
- impulsive
- A little woman of action
My point???
They are both brilliant kids, with different abilities. If your child is speech delayed, does that make him any less intelligent???? NO! They just have a little trouble communicating their thoughts. Speech does not determine intelligence.
Rate of learning also doesn't determine intelligence. There are some amazing mothers out there who struggle with "teaching". This does not mean that they neglect their children or their education. I have the most amazing mother a woman could ask for, but when I was little, my mom was intimidated by teaching, so I started school in Kindergarten learning most things that they were teaching, for the first time. I could be being naive but I really don't find my self unintelligent as a result of this.
My daughter is very effective at communication (as said above). She is 19 months and can often speak in full sentences. She becomes more adept at communicating every day, but she has a really hard time with puzzles and other mechanics. She also has trouble learning things through pictures. She requires speech mixed with "hands on" instruction.
Gideon took much longer to form sentences, than Gabby and still at times stammers over expressing things. That kid's mechanical abilities and visual retention, however... is remarkable. I simply hanged posters in his bedroom with basic facts (ie letters, phonics, and numbers) and it seems that he masted it all practically over night when he could see it visualized for him.
Moral of story?
If you have a 2 year old who can read novels... great. BUT that doesn't necessarily make them any more intelligent than a 2 year old who is just struggling to speak. :)
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