Confessions

Confessions: 

1. I am terribly jealous of perfectionists 
2. I HATE driving
3. I am afraid of big groups of people
4. I love to eat Lunch Meat right out of the package for a snack
5. I can be what could be considered excessively nurturing 
6. When people blatantly reject my nurturing,  I get my feelings hurt (this is why I sometimes avoid friendships)
7. I despise competition 
8. I tend to obsess about things until I burn out. 
9. I received negative reinforcement regarding my singing, when I was young, and now, even if I want to I can't force my voice above a whisper if I think anyone might be listening. 
10. I am a pathological people pleaser, even people I don't get along with.
11. As a result, I can be a touch sensitive 
12. I'm very forgiving
13. I tend to take all criticism personally. 
14. I had to use spell check to spell "criticism"
15. I have a natural desire to "swim against the current"    
16. I have a hard time asking for help
17. I'm cuddly 
18. I was painfully shy when I was a kid and forced myself out of it with theater.
19. I yammer on like a chipmunk on caffeine when I am in social situations to avoid  "awkward silence". I hate awkward silence.
20. I HATE being winked at. I find it condescending. 
21. I day dream of having enough money to buy about 5 acres, build a house, and have a small farm/epically amazing greenhouse.   
22. I have a hard time saying "no" to people. 
23. I am incredibly impulsive. 
24. I feel most "at home" in water, even though I'm not that great of a swimmer. 
25. I'm not very flexible. 
26. I am always explaining or apologizing for things, in case someone is judging me (which I always assume that they are) but find it quite funny when other people do it, because the chances that I'm judging them are quite low. 
27. I am always afraid that people don't know how much I love them and so I spend a lot of time trying to show it to them. 
28. I love naps. 
29. I somehow think that everyone else's problems are my problems and always want to fix them.
30. I am empathetic and cry easily. 
31. I don't feel like I deserve my family. 
32. If I feel "condemned" by someone and/or if major conflict arises in the relationship, I tend to retreat from the friendship. 
33. I didn't finish High School
34. I hate clutter. 
35. I can't run. If someone was chasing me, I'd probably try and hide. 
36. I have yet to discover what I'm "good for". 
37. I can be a touch "free spirited". 
38. I procrastinate laundry way more often than I should. 
39. I am pretty sure I get worse separation anxiety than my kids do when they are with a "babysitter" 
40. I hate cleaning when my husband is home. I feel like I'm being punished.